|
It’s a few minutes before 4pm. I am in my Spiritual Formation class. My phone beeps with a text from my wife. She is at the hospital for a routine pregnancy checkup. It reads, ‘Honey, the doctors can’t find Josiah’s heartbeat. They are running further tests.’ My mind races as fast as my heart. I don’t know what to feel. I’m shocked and rattled. I try to comfort myself, ‘Everything will be alright. Soon, the heartbeat will return.’ Scared? You bet I am. Confused too. Full of sorrow? It’s coming soon.
As suffering strikes, we defend ourselves with denial. I show the text to my professor and the class prays. Inwardly, I hope all of this is not real. Perhaps the doctors just missed Josiah’s heartbeat. Because this was a healthy pregnancy. Right? I mean, there were no complications until this point. But then, another text. He is gone. Silence. Then sobbing and a shower of tears. Suffering struck.
