This is one of our top devotions of 2020 published on the 9th of October 2020. Find the full article here
“The man said, “The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me fruit of the tree, and I ate.” Then the Lord God said to the woman, “What is this that you have done?” The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate” (Gen 3:12-13)
Blame-shifting is an idol inherited from our ancient ancestors. It’s an insidious idol of the heart that threatens to poison our relationships, especially the unique one-flesh bond of marriage. Left to rule the roost, this idol can lead to an abusive marriage in which a manipulative husband uses every trick in the book to avoid being held accountable for his own behaviour. A wife may play the victim or get angry and aggressive if her husband fails to show her the sympathy she feels she deserves. As Christians, we must recognize that blame-shifting is an idol that has set itself up in every human heart since the Fall. It is a tendency that is in each one of us as sons and daughters of Adam and Eve.
The original ‘victims’
Genesis 3 tells us that every marriage has an Enemy, and that enemy is not our spouse! Notice that Satan slithered in by stealth to tempt the first married couple (Gen 3:1). He didn’t announce himself as the Enemy. And yet, before Adam and Eve knew it, Satan had slandered God’s goodness and his Word (Gen 3:4-5). He convinced the first humans that God was a killjoy and that they could judge for themselves what is right and wrong.
Then, instead of taking responsibility for their sin, Adam and Eve blamed each other, blamed God and blamed Satan (Gen 3:12-13). Adam accused Eve, and even blamed God for giving him his wife. “The devil made me do it!” said Eve. They created scapegoats to divert from their own guilt. In today’s language, Adam and Eve played the victim card. Their rebellion was everyone else’s fault except their own.
Tragically, each of us carries into our marriage this idol of blame to protect ourselves and hide from our guilt. We look for solutions out there, to avoid looking into our own rebellious hearts, which do not worship or love God as we ought. We pretend to be the poor hapless victims of other evil people or circumstances…Keep Reading